Fresh Ideas to Shake Up Sports

Sports are changing, and it's about time! The bigwigs in charge, called the Boss Hog Group, are worried fans won't pay for the current entertainment. So, they've picked a new sports commissioner who's not in it for the money. That's me! I've seen what works and what doesn't in sports, and I'm here to make things better. No, we're not going back to ancient games where losers lost their heads. Let's focus on today's sports. Football, for example. Those super long field goals are getting boring. Coaches call timeouts to decide if their kicker can make a 70-yarder! It's time to change that. How about narrowing the goal posts? That'll make coaches think twice before trying such long kicks. Basketball's 3-point line is another issue. It's fun to see Steph Curry make one from half court, but it's not a quality shot. Let's add a penalty for missed 3-pointers. Maybe losing a point? That'll give players something to think about before launching a long shot. And soccer! It's ridiculous that a game can be decided by a fluke goal. Like when a shot hits a defender's foot, bounces off his arm, and becomes a penalty. That's like giving the death penalty for jaywalking. Let's give a time penalty instead, like in hockey. It's a fairer way to deal with handballs. These changes would make sports more exciting and fair. Got more ideas? I'm all ears.