Grief and Gratitude: Finding Balance in the Holidays

A plane crash on November 29, 1969, took the lives of three people near Mt. Washington. The pilot and two skydivers, dressed as Santa Claus, were heading to a holiday event. Their deaths left behind a trail of grief that spanned decades. The numbers tell part of the story. The pilot was 27, one skydiver 25, and the other 19. Their deaths left 18 siblings without brothers, six parents without children, and three women without lovers. A skydiving club lost two of its members. But grief isn't just about numbers. It's in the letters the pilot sent home during college, where he wrote, "I never could do anything right except love you. " It's in the life of the woman who married the pilot's college girlfriend, who said she "never really found" her niche in life.Grief is also in the small, everyday moments. A woman who had a crush on one of the skydivers since the eighth grade never married. She remembered the 29th of every month for years, a constant reminder of her loss. The crash also left behind a sense of emptiness. The frantic calls from loved ones, the silence of a son calling his mother, the sob of an old girlfriend looking at pictures—these are the intangible parts of grief. The pilot's flight instructor flew his parents over the crash site the morning after the wreckage was found. The father's hair turned white overnight, a childhood friend recalled. In a season of gratitude, it's easy to focus on what we have. But it's also important to acknowledge what we've lost. Grief and gratitude can coexist. We don't need to count our blessings to appreciate them.