FINANCE

Sharing Wealth: A Fair Approach to Supporting Adult Kids

Mon Nov 10 2025

A parent finds themselves in a unique situation. They have three adult children, each in their 20s, with distinct goals and needs.

  • The oldest has a steady job.
  • The youngest has just graduated and is navigating their career.
  • The middle child is preparing to attend law school.

The parent wants to support them all fairly, especially since they have the means to do so.

The Plan

The parent is considering giving money to the other two kids whenever they pay for the middle child's law school tuition. They wonder if this is a good idea and if they should keep it a secret from the law student.

Expert Advice

Is Giving Money the Best Approach?

Perhaps not. Instead, consider involving the other kids in something more meaningful, such as:

  • Donating to a cause they care about in their names.
  • This way, everyone feels included, and the world gets a little better.

Transparency is Key

Money can be a tricky topic in families. Being open about it is usually the best policy.

  • If the parent decides to give money to the other kids, they should tell the law student.
  • This prevents hard feelings and promotes fairness.

A Family Discussion

Perhaps the parent could talk to all three kids together.

  • Figure out what each one needs and wants.
  • The oldest might not need money but could benefit from help with something else.
  • The youngest might need guidance more than cash.
  • The law student might appreciate knowing their parent is thinking of everyone.

The Bottom Line

At the end of the day, it's not about the money. It's about making sure each kid feels supported in their own way.

questions

    How does one ensure that monetary gifts are perceived as fair and not as favoritism by the children?
    If the children invest the monetary gifts in a pyramid scheme, who gets the blame?
    Could the middle child's decision to go to law school be influenced by the parents' willingness to pay for it?

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