Living with a Roommate's Troubles: When Enough is Enough

Living with someone for four years, and their son's troubles becoming your own. That's what happened to one person who wrote to Dear Abby. The roommate's son, Byron, has been in and out of jail since he was 15. His dad keeps bailing him out, and this person used two of their credit cards to help raise $11, 000 for Byron's bail. In return, Byron promised to do some work around the house. But guess what? He hasn't done any of it. The roommate's boyfriend thinks they're being selfish for not wanting to help anymore. Is it fair to keep helping someone who doesn't keep their promises? It's important to think about why people act the way they do. Byron might be the way he is because his dad has always bailed him out. But that doesn't mean you have to keep helping. It's not selfish to want to protect your own money. It's also not fair to be blackmailed emotionally. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to walk away before things get worse. Another person wrote to Dear Abby about not wanting to go out at night. They have friends who offer to drive them because they think it's the driving that bothers them. But it's not the driving, it's the being out at night. How can you tell your friends this without hurting their feelings? Maybe you could say, "I really appreciate your offer, but I'm not comfortable going out at night. Please don't ask me again. " Sometimes, people make decisions about our health that we don't agree with. One person wrote to Dear Abby about their wife having a history of breast cancer. She's had MRIs and biopsies, and now she's going in for a lumpectomy. The person thinks it might be better to have her breasts removed. But they didn't marry her breasts, they married the woman behind them. This person loves their wife, but they think they should let her and her doctors make the decision. It's important to support our loved ones, but also to let them make their own choices.