Money struggles and tough love in families

A father in Ohio is torn over his 43-year-old daughter Patti, who keeps asking family for cash despite her unstable finances. Her two kids go to private school while her live-in boyfriend only pays rent and the couple’s relationship seems to revolve around the children. Patti’s spending habits stand out—birthday parties, salon visits, and even plastic surgeries. Years ago, she declared bankruptcy after piling up credit card debt. She once trained to become a nurse practitioner through an online course but failed the state exam. Despite saying she wanted a better job, she hasn’t taken steps to retake the test or finish her studies. When her dad offered to help review her finances before giving money, she refused. When he suggested free financial counseling, she reacted with angry emails. The dad feels stuck, wondering if helping her is even the right move.Experts suggest tough love might be the answer. Patti is old enough to handle her own problems. Until she learns to manage her money and take responsibility, bailing her out won’t fix anything. Support should come in the form of guidance, not endless cash. Meanwhile, another reader in their 50s wonders about marriage later in life. They ask if it’s normal to feel like just roommates and if couples stop saying "I love you" once they know it’s true. Physical intimacy can change with age, but emotional connection shouldn’t fade. The key? Talking openly and finding new ways to show care.